He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
