And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
