All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my phone needs a breathalizer
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
