She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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