Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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