then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
