Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
