Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
