Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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