Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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