we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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