both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
