woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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