I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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