i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
