i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
do herpes really smell.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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