i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I would ride that face into the sunset
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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