So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
