They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize