I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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