I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
