yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
