Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Less talking, more tequila
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
