I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
