I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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