dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
