She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Will you blow on my dice?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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