using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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