Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
