My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
