Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
