i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
is it fun? or sober?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
