who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
