you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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