hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
