guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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