the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
