I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
