why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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