..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His nipple licking is glorious
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