I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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