Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
