If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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