Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
