Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I need a beard to bite.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize