How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
