I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize