I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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