the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize