its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
