So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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