I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
