no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
