I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
one two three fourrrrnication!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
