im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
