I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
