are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
