Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
