Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
