Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
