i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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