IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
