If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
