I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
